A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
