If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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