do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
