i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
