the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
