So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
