Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
