He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
