he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
