Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
