We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
