Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
