Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
