I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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