It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
