I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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