I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
