Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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