just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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