brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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