I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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