I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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