Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
