they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
