There was a lot of him and a little penis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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