I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
