I accidentally had phone sex last night
The best revenge is premature balding
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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