Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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