your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
