Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
