I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
