So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
