The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
