she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
