I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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