To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
