I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
