Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
