So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had sex on a roof
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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