We won't sleep together?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
