Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
