she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
