He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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