hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
