I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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