My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
