why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
