i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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