Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
