i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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