New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
