textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
